February 2012
1 post
I make saying goodbye seem simple
Blowing away like leaves in the wind
In and out I continue to float
Avoiding the beginning because I’m afraid of the end
The rain allows me to hide my tears
Dreams are muted by the screams of reality
Impossible for me to take advantage of life
Afraid to live for fear of mortality
You gave me a reason to feel again
To experience a feeling unknown
You helped me...
January 2012
3 posts
Mad Men is one of the best television shows to ever be shown. Every episode is one that some person, at some point, can relate to. Anyone who has watched the series finds one of the characters that they latch on to, and find themselves invested in.
What does that say about me?
——————————————————————————————————————————————–
Donald Draper is smooth as silk, to say the least. His words are...
She asked me yesterday if I missed you.
I didn’t know how to answer.
————————————————————————
Today, I put on my iPod while I was working out, and put it on shuffle. For some reason, every song made me think about you. My heart still hurts....
Tweeting Into Oblivion
I am going to attempt to speak in complete sentences and express whole thoughts in this blog. It is going to be hard, but I am going to do the best that I can.
Twitter has taken over the world.
We live in a hashtag-happy society. It seems as though anywhere we turn, we are bombarded with images of that damn blue bird or lowercase ‘t’. Go to your favorite restaurant, and you will...
October 2011
1 post
August 2011
3 posts
I fucking hate the word "Swag". And it's always...
ohmygoditsmonica:
PREACH.
Doesn’t “Swag” mean “Stuff We All Get”? So if we all get it, what makes you think I give a shit about yours??
Just when I think that I forgot you….
Listen
May 2011
1 post
Had a Dream I Said....
She was absolutely stunning.
The moment I laid eyes on her, I was mesmerized. She had this…glow about her. The second she entered the room, I felt a wave of calm envelope me. She was an unfamiliar face that was inviting all comers; she seemed to welcome the attention, but not crave it. The entire room was captivated by her every move. The simplicity in which she walked; the grace that she...
April 2011
0 posts
Workplace Fuckery
Love is an illusion
That over time, everyone chooses
To believe in with vigor
But in the end, there are only losers
I tried giving my heart to you
But the ends didn’t justify the means
Maybe it was for the best
Because for you I was willing
To sacrifice my very being
Beautiful sunsets, long walks in the park?
How about a fractured reality?
Nights were cold; days are...
March 2011
3 posts
Cravings
These cravings are getting stronger
I no longer have control of my actions
My desire for you is getting out of hand
It has become more than just a simple attraction
One opportunity, that’s all that I would need
One chance for me to gain your affection
So often I’ve chased the wrong kind of person
But I know you are my hearts reflection
My arms are empty; my eyes are...
this shit goes HARD.
February 2011
7 posts
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for...
goodnightjosie:
katiefuckingfitch-:
uselesswithoutyou:xneverstopdreamin:saygoodbyelove:unwanted-clemency:itsasabotage:whaddupitsbeth:embracefailur:idoubteverything
ALWAYS <3
Untitled
Too many of my days end with thoughts thrown away
Too many times I want to speak but can’t find the words to say
The old phrase tells us that “life goes on”
But for me it feels like im trapped in the same day
Its no longer the pain that has a hold of my daily actions
Its the realization we never shared the same attraction
Whereas previously all I needed was just your smile
I now...
To My 2011 Valentines
2011 marks Valentine’s Day #4 in a row that I have spent without a special someone. It’s starting to become a new tradition. I thought for sure that this year would be different; but alas, it wasn’t in the cards.
BUT…..
After giving it a bit of thought, I realized that i DO have a valentine this year; in fact, I have three! How many guys would actually admit that they...
Gervin or Bias??
We all know at least one of those people: the ones who you haven’t seen in a few years, and you expected them to be running the world by now, but when you finally speak to them, they are on their fifth job in three years, still living at home, and seem perfectly content with it. It raises the question: when does potential become just wasted ability??
I will be 27 years old in less than four...
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?
HELP!!
Over the past six months or so, my desire for writing has all but disappeared. I always come up with great ideas about things that I want to write, but when I sit down and actually try to put those thoughts on paper (or Tumblr), I draw a blank. It’s almost as if my brain is telling me that my idea wasn’t really as good as I thought it would be. It is upsetting, to say the least. So, I...
January 2011
7 posts
Maybe Shalamar Had It Right The Whole Time...
‘Friends’. How many of us have them? Ones we can depend on? Over the last couple of days, I decided to take inventory of the people who are…attached in my life. And while doing said inventory, I realized that a lot of the people I have in my life are people who are only there because they need something from me. When everything is smooth with them, I don’t hear from them...
.....Just Be Gentle
Not Gon Cry. All Cried Out. Let It Go. Past Paradise. My All.
All of these songs are on repeat on my iPod. It’s starting to piss me off that I can’t get her off of my mind. Everyday it seems like, just when I’m starting to let her go a little bit, she comes back. It’s like she can sense me pulling away.
“Every time I get out, they pull me right back in.”...
I definitely would…
It’s been a week since I last saw you. Not a minute has gone by where you weren’t, in some way, on my mind. At night, I lay on the couch; I’m too afraid to sleep in a bed, without you, because I know that I will start to miss you too much. In the mornings, I am up at 3am my time, because I know that’s when you are waking up. I imagine seeing you get out of bed, getting out...
An Evaluation of a Broken Heart
October 10th, 2010. My plane arrived. January 9th, 2011, my plane departed. Three months. 90 days. 2,160 hours (roughly). In that time, I moved to Maine; admitted to myself (and someone else) that I was in love again; slipped into a bit of a depression due to not being able to find a job; had my heart broken; moved back to California; and, finally, moved to San Diego. What a three month span,...
December 2010
1 post
Part of me wants to write a long, angry blog right now. Part of me wants to yell, scream, show massive amounts of anger. I want to put my hand through a wall. If this were six months ago, I probably would have already done it. Instead, I bite my tongue, act as if I’m not bothered, when inside, all I feel is fire.
The old Jamaal would have found a way to let his anger take control of his...
November 2010
4 posts
Dreams
Vivid dreams are always the hardest ones to forget about. When they feel so realistic that, when you wake up, you question if they really happened, they tend to leave a lasting impression. I had one of those last night.
Desiree Garcia. Anyone who REALLY knows me, knows who she is and what she meant to me. My first true love. And I ran away from her. Twice. I wont go into details about our...
Question....
Everyone has one…..what’s your fantasy? Doesn’t have to be sexual. I wasn’t to know what makes you guys tick. Let me know.
September 2010
3 posts
How is possible that I’ve known you for 14 years, yet it only took one week for me to realize that I’m in love with you??
lightyearsaway:
I loathe “friends” who call or text only when they need something. Never just to see what’s up.
gtfo
I’m right there with you, sister.
August 2010
3 posts
Untitled
I shouldnt feel this way about you But who am I to tell my heart what to do? Its strange how something that once seemed so old and used Now all of a sudden feels so brand new Previously I had given up on love I felt like it just wasnt for me Then out of nowhere you entered my life And now love is all I can see Just the thought of you warms my soul And you smile soothes all of my pain When youre...
Untitled
Look at the two of us, playing this little game
you know I have these feelings for you
and I know you feel the same
but we continue to play the situation dumb
even though whenever we are around each other
to the rest of the world we are numb
maybe its the fear of the unknown that holds us back
preventing us from getting this runaway train of affection
onto the appropriate track
but now im...
Broken Rolex
restless days turn to sleepless nights time bleeds together why check my watch? nothing has changed its always the first minute of forever i aimlessly wander through life no longer interested in finding its meaning for me, clouds are gray; thunder rolls but for your the sun is beaming i cant say that im broken hearted it feels more like i am defeated to win your heart was my only focus but it...
July 2010
1 post
I Love You.....
I am not a good person. I have come to terms with this. I have done things in my life that would make most normal people never want to talk to me again. But of all the faults that I have, there is one trait that I have that - to me - makes all of the bad things that I have done obsolete. That trait is the ability to love. I’m not talking about family love. There are three females in my life...
April 2010
2 posts
Workplace Memorandum
Attention:
To All Employees of (company name omitted):
It has been brought to our attention that certain professional guidelines have not been followed as of late, and we feel that it is our responsibility to remind each of you that there is a certain expectation of professionalism that is expected to be maintained by each of you, as long as you are employed by (company name omitted). With that...
What's your addiction??
It was like the first shot of heroin
that first sip of beer
the sensation was almost indescribable
that brief moment that you were near
it was like I was stuck in the moment
but every feeling was so intense
it was as if I was on a three day high
its a feeling I havent had since
lately I wake up in the middle of the night
like an addict, craving only you
I have no desire for anything...
February 2010
1 post
realest sh*t i ever wrote
i know it seems like i continue to chase you
repeatedly asking for a chance to see your face soon
but theres so much more than just a vibe you give off
you make it hard on these feelings i find to fend off
for years have been just friends and thats cool
long ago we put an end to “me
November 2009
1 post
“The first time I kissed her broke my heart
Because I knew it would never be as...”
– Me.
October 2009
17 posts
“I designed the perfect girlfriend once. She was a friend of a friend, and - from...”
– Chuck Klosterman, “Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs”
—-I feel you, Chuck. Haha
Cold as Ice
Punk Ass…what the hell happened? We were never officially “boyfriend and girlfriend”, but we were involved for two years. It was only me and you. And by far, you were the coolest female I was ever involved with. You drive a ‘67 Chevy, have an affiinity for knives, and love lip gloss! You love tattoos, undergroup hip-hop, and cooking. You were the perfect storm! So where did...
B....
From the day we met there was a connection
but we both denied it for so long
everything about us seemed so right
we both just knew it had to be wrong
i still remember walking you home
and when we shared our first kiss
but i also remember you breaking my heart
and the impact that its had every since
but all of that is in the past
and to this day, we are still friends
but it makes me...
An Open Letter To __________
Dear _______,
Today, I have officially resigned. I realize that this may or may not have any affect on you at all, but I still feel the need to make it known.
Recently, I have felt as if I was a second rate citizen in your world. I didn’t ask for much: yet still, it sometimes felt as if you thought I was asking for the world. I sometimes wonder what exactly it was that made you think that...
years have passed; we have both moved on
and have gone our separate ways
yet here i am, evaluating my feelings for you
not sure if it is right for me to say
the way you and i ended was wrong
i could have handled it like more of a man
but i was only 19 and just KNEW i was right
i felt like i was taking a stand
but since youve been gone, ill be honest with you
you have always been in the...
Losing Battle
i remember i used to think i wass happier alone
i never needed anyone by my side
sure there were dates here and there
but when it came to replationships i wouldnt even try
i didnt want anyone too close
i was terrified of a broken heart
so just as it seemed that things were progressing
i would leave before the pain could start
but then out of nowhere i met you
and immediately my whole...
harsh reality
i dont know why i thought you were different why i decided to trust you with my heart in my mind we were as close as can be in reality we were worlds apart i was willing to give you my everything my heart, my soul, my love at times i felt you were heaven sent that God himself sent you from above but the more time that passed in our relationship the more things started to change while it seemed my...